Man, I’ve been so busy!  I’ve been writing for this and that, doing a ton of work on various of my web sites and blogs.  I’ve done so much web work I’m starting to dream in FTP (File Transfer Protocol).  I have kind of a geeky, funny analogy I use to explain as aspect of law of attraction using FTP as an example that helps people envision the contact between “source” (which is all that is) and the “host” (which is us).  Maybe some day you’ll hear it in one of my workshops.

I now run a total of 4 blogs.  These are my blogs:

1. I have this blog, at which you’re reading now.  http://cynthiaclinton.com/blog
2. http://wholyone.com/blog - which is the offical weblog of my Wholy One Wellness Center.
3. http://femmepreneur.info which is me reviving a “enlightened women in business” site I had years ago, but this time in blog form.
4. http://bestofthesouthbay.info is my blog on California’s South Bay Area where I feature local businesses, articles about local goings on, and general local things.

All will serve their purpose, which is mostly marketing for my different businesses, charities, and interests.  It’s a lot of writing, but I do a lot of writing anyway.

Another big preoccupation is my health and fitness.  I’ve been struggling with an extra 25 pounds because I’ve been under stress and when that happens, my thyroid gets unstable.  When this happens, I put on weight (which is normally very difficult for me to do) and then I have a difficult time getting it off.  There are factors that concern me:

• I’m 45 and want the rest of my life (every last minute) to be as enjoyable as possible, which means I proactively do whatever it takes now to avoid health problems later.
• Both my father and my mother have been diagnosed with vascular issues.  My father has had every kind of bypass surgery there is.  Cancer is on both sides of the family as well.  I need to stay lean and active, cleanse often, eat as cleanly as possible, and control my stress level.
• I want to be a good example for my eventual clients at the wellness center I’m trying to build.  I’m a fitness professional and nobody believes a fat fitness trainer.  Really I’m not fat enough that very many people believe I’m actually fat, but my physical condition has sucked the last few years.  It can’t ever suck again.

So those are my main concerns.  In my struggle for fitness with a wonky thyroid (sometimes working, sometimes not), I’ve tried just about everything.  I’ve dieted, I’ve tried different kinds of exercise.  I’ve tried cardio.  I’ve tried what I saw with my own eyes worked for other people in my house.  It didn’t work for me.  I grew more and more depressed.  But then, I had a mini epiphany… the only fitness style my body has ever readily responded to was weight lifting.

I was a bodybuilder for over 10 years, from about my mid-twenties to my mid-thirties.  I originally got into it for personal reasons surrounding physical abuse against my person.  I was your typical 99-pound weakling story.  No matter what I tried, I couldn’t put on any weight without being pregnant.  Even after I had a baby, my body quickly boomeranged back to 99 pounds.  I was tiny and skinny and people took advantage of my person.  Finally, I’d been reading bodybuilding magazines for quite awhile, but didn’t really think any of it could possibly apply to me, when I had the notion that I should take up bodybuilding.

When I walked into the gym the first time and told the owner what I wanted to do, he ignored me and said, “You’re here to tone, right?”  So I told him again and this time I got specific, naming muscles I wanted to develop more.  Once he realized I knew all the names of the muscles, etc., then he started taking me more seriously.  He still thought it was funny, but he took me seriously and he helped me enormously.  I got very immersed in the bodybuilding lifestyle: the workouts, the way of eating, etc. and my body did change.  I got so muscular that my body weight was 127 pounds for the first time in my life (I weighed only 119 when I gave birth to my son).

The ‘89 earthquake happened and my gym fell - or rather parts of another building fell on my gym for the same result.  There weren’t any other hardcore gyms around and I didn’t feel like finding a new “home” somewhere else.  I had to work out at home now, so I bought the weights and got busy.  I got bored and decided I’d do some martial arts to satisfy my Emma Peel jones.  She was my hero growing up.  So I bounced for a few years from this dojo to that dojo.  I resented the belt system, feeling that as a woman my rank should be private.  So as soon as they told me it was time to test for my belt, I was out of there.

In this process, I fell in love with the calisthenics that began each martial arts class.  My body lost some of it’s bulk, but my muscles looked very cut and very awesome.  I felt like a well oiled machine.  However, I stopped doing martial arts because the cost became prohibitive.  After awhile, my muscles shrunk down and my weight hovered around 103.  I was still lifting weights at home, but just a maintenance program to stay over 100 pounds.

Then I met my second husband and weight lifting just didn’t seem to fit in my life anymore, so I stopped doing it.  Apparently, he stopped running as well.  So I’ve spent the last 12 years or so in varying states of fitness, but none of them as fit as I was before I met my husband and none of them had any lasting duration (and neither did the marriage).

My latest mini-epiphany was that if weight lifting helped me before when I had the opposite problem I have right now, odds are my body would respond in the same way now that I needed physical change once again.  So a few weeks ago, I started lifting weights again, but gradually.  First I was just training arms, then training arms and abs, and now I’m gearing up to add legs and back.  The exciting thing was that I started seeing body changes even when I was just training my arms.  The changes really started increase when I added in abs.

I notice I carry myself differently.  I even bend over differently.  I don’t really look a whole lot different to myself when I stand in front of the mirror, but when I look down, my arms are more shapely, my stomach is flatter, I look narrower in my chair.

People used to think I really loved working out.  It’s not that.  It’s that I easily get addicted to what weight lifting does for me.  I love the strength - how it feels, how it looks, how it changes me - and I want to keep doing the activity which does that for me.  The gifts from weight lifting are innumerable.

I’m happy to be back in the bodybuilding lifestyle, in those old familiar feelings - and I know too that this is where I need to be for the rest of my life.  Maintaining fitness is much easier and less time consuming than rebuilding fitness.  I’m glad I’ve had this experience because I think it will make me a better trainer than if I’d just been fit all my life.

Other healthy changes are that a few months ago I stopped using shampoo.  About once a week I use regular liquid castille soap on my hair and scalp and the rest of the week (about every other day) I just ”wash” with a good conditioner.  The results have been amazing.  Not only does my hair look better than it ever has (thicker, fuller, more manageable - no more fly-away hair), but my hair is growing like crazy.  Like CRAZY.  It’s growing so fast that I have very visible roots in just a couple of weeks.  It’s been hard to keep up.

Who knew?  I was doing some research on the internet about something else and happened to stumble on information about hair and how some of the problems people associate with normal hair were actually the by-products of the harsh chemicals in shampoo.  This is apparently by design so that we are always looking for the magic bullet in shampoos and conditioners that seems to make our hair look like we want it to.

My next hair adventure will be forsaking dyes (and their nasty PPD chemicals) and moving over to the henna camp.  Henna does wonderful things for the hair like increasing thickness and sealing the hair shaft.  I figure I’ll go back to the Auburn color I’ve worn most of my adult life, which just happens to be the more natural shade of henna, so I won’t have to deal with too many henna additives.  I just have to research how long I need to wait since my last coloring to henna my hair.

I just ordered stuff for a bentonite clay and psyllium bowel cleanse, so I’ll be doing that as soon as it gets here - probably within the week.  They say “death begins in the colon”, so I’m going to be proactive and do do a bowel cleanse 2x a year from here on out.  This will be my first.  I’ve done some minor detoxing that involved the bowel, but never have I done a full on bowel cleanse.  This’ll be interesting.  I’ve heard some stories!

The California Supreme Court has overturned the same-sex marriage ban.  Same-sex marriages are now legal in the state of California.  However, according to this article in the Mercury News, some court houses are refusing to provide an marriage ceremonies to anyone because their employees object to same-sex marriages.  They can’t discriminate and refuse service to some, so they aren’t providing wedding ceremonies to anyone, though they are still issuing marriage licenses.  Crappy!

If it’s legal in your state, then you should shut up with your personal objections and perform the service if that’s the line of work you’re in!  You are a public servant and, during work hours, it’s not your job to have an opinion about the services you provide or any judgment about the people using said services.

I don’t make these statements lightly or without personal knowledge.  I was a county employee for over 12 years and I can tell you that it was never my job to have a personal opinion about any of the work I was to perform.  When swearing in officers or public officials, should you refuse to do your job because you don’t like some of the people you’re swearing in?  No, you should mind your own business and do your job.  If someone is getting a passport with a visa request for a country you don’t approve of, should you refuse to to do your job?  No, you should mind your own business and do your job.  If someone is filing for a divorce and you don’t think 3 years constitutes long enough of a “try”, should you refuse to file their papers?  No, you should mind your own business and do your job.  See where I’m going with this?

When I worked in local government, one small part of my job was issuing marriage licenses at the court house.  The County Clerk would generally perform the wedding ceremonies, but he did such a brief and poor job of it, that I volunteered to provide the ceremonies when I was on duty.  Of course, the ceremonies there were very brief, but they were as nice as one could make them in the time allowed.

I can tell you right now that I would have performed the ceremony for any person who could legally wed in the State of California - and whether I personally objected or not is not something I would have let affect my service to others in the course of my job.

For the record, I do not object.  If the right to marry a same-sex partner is so important to the people of the State of California that they took it to the Supreme Court and the Supreme Court overturned the ban, then who am I to find fault with it or be a conscientious objector?  It’s legal in my state and people want it, so I will do it.

I will perform same-sex wedding ceremonies!

I’m a Spiritual Humanist duly Ordained Clergy Person, which means I can perform any legal marriage in the state of California.  You can read more about my spiritual credentials here.  I will perform same-sex wedding ceremonies without judgment.  My wedding ceremonies are beautifully meaningful without any of the churchy references found in most ceremonies.

Contact me for prices and details.  Cynthia @ 408-310-0027… you can call or text at this number.  If calling from out of the area, you may call toll free 1-888-701-0808.  I accept cash and credit cards.  If you call and I don’t pick up, it just means I’m busy or I didn’t hear the phone (I’m hard of hearing), so be sure and leave me your name, number, the best time to call, and let me know it’s regarding a marriage ceremony.  You can also email through the contact form on the Contact Cynthia page.

The article says the same-sex marriage issue will be on the ballot in November.  Maybe between now and November is your only opportunity for a legal marriage.

Hi, are there any fellow Twitterers out there?  If so, follow me!  I’ll follow you right back, I promise.  Here’s my link:

http://twitter.com/cynthiaclinton

If you don’t Twitter, maybe you want to.  Check it out.  It’s a neat way to let other people know what you’re doing in 140 characters or less.  I want to know what you’re doing.  Really.

At my www.wholyone.com/blog, you’ll notice the reddish box in the extreme right sidebar that says “what am I doing…” - that’s my Twitter Badge that gives my latest Tweets.

If you’re already all a’Twitter or you decide to sign up, I’ll see you there :D.

She laid there smoking a sweet, dark cigarillo.  God love a babe with her juicy, red lips wrapped around any kind of cigar.  She sensed he was going to be making a departure when she logged out for the day.

“Wait!” she cried.  “Don’t tell anyone!”

He turned, “Are you ashamed of me?”

“Yes!  I mean no!  I just don’t want anyone to know!  I’m supposed to hate you!”

He hung his head.  He got this from everyone he was with.  It was the same old tired refrain.  They wanted him alright… but secretly.  He guessed perhaps there could be some pride in being a babe’s secret shame.  He thought perhaps he could get used to it, but it still stung a bit.  Still in all, he said quietly, “I guess I’m happy to be of use despite your ‘embarrassment’, but I’m not bitter.”

Oh, she felt horrible!  The last one she’d had was great in his way, but left her wanting and she didn’t even realize she’d been wanting until she met this one.  What was she going to do?  She didn’t want him to leave on this note.  She wanted to know he’d be back.

He turned the knob to go and heard her cry, “Vista!  Wait!  I wish you were on my other computer too!”  She wrung her hands as tears ran down her cheeks, but continued with her confession, “You just… do so much for me.  I’m supposed to hate you and resist your considerable charms, but I can’t.  I can’t!”

A smile creased his face and he knew he had her.  He closed her door behind him and whistled as he walked down the hall.  He heard her door open behind him and she called, “But don’t twit this to anyone.  I have a Google Alert.  I’ll know!”

I recently installed a piece of software that came with my digital camera because the manual made it sound like I absolutely needed it in order to download my pictures from my Kodak Easy Share. I didn’t plan on installing it at all, but like I said… the manual really made it sound like I needed it.However, I installed the software and jumped through all the hoops of fire and then found what appeared to be the only way to transfer my pictures from the device. How? By uploading them to the Kodak Gallery which required me to open a free account. This is where bitchy Cynthia says, “I don’t want to open a fucking account and I don’t care if it’s free.” (Or alternatively… “I don’t want to dance in your fascist puppet show!”) Despite having a name with “Easy” in it (the camera, not me), there was no obvious way to transfer the pictures and it was only after digging around I saw where it kept asking for the account name and password (which I had skirted setting up like five times during install), so it could upload to the gallery.

No, no, no, NO! When we bought this camera, we didn’t do it to buy into their crap. All this gallery crap might be okay for some grandma that can barely use email, but it’s totally unacceptable to me. Luckily, Tim has a card reader that he uses with his camera and I love that darned thing, so I went and got it and had my pictures on my hard drive in less than 2 minutes start to finish. And I had 77 pictures on there. Easy Share, my ass. Okay, maybe if you do it their way… but we’ve already established I’m not doing that.

Feeling cranky about the whole software waste of time, I decided to kick my man, Kodak, to the curb. I clicked on start and found him the programs list. I was shocked to discover that there was no uninstall option. Already our relationship is doomed. Undaunted, I went to Add/Remove Programs and told it to remove the waste of time I affectionately know as Kodak. Now here is where I was again surprised and even more annoyed… all it did was open the install wizard and there was still no uninstall choice. Then it threw an error. I’m not just being mean when I say that doesn’t happen to every guy. I can tickle the uninstall out of just about anyone. But not Kodak, apparently. Ppphhhtt!

I opened up my TweakAll and tried to get rid of him from there, but it opened the same install screen as the Add/Remove did. So I went to my C-drive, and navigated to my program files, then to Kodak and hit delete. Heh, it threw an error and said it couldn’t delete because it couldn’t access this one file. Demanding little cuss, this Kodak.

So I went to Start/Run and I typed those relationship killing words… MSCONFIG and pressed enter. :… I love the smell of napalm in the morning! …: Under the STARTUP tab, I removed the checkmark from in front of any item appearing to be even remotely related to Kodak Easy Share (and a couple of other pesky things too). Then I clicked apply and then close that sweet, little lover out. I was tempted by the siren RE-BOOT and allowed myself to surrender to her, aware I’d crossed over to the other side.

While I was smoking my virtual cigarette, I got a little warning that told me some changes were made. Yes, darling, I know. That’s okay. Change can be a girl’s best friend. Don’t show me this warning again, okay? :… patting my computer on the ass …:

Then I went back to Add/Remove to throw all of Kodak’s stuff out onto the lawn and he still wouldn’t go. So I trudged back to C:/Program Files and right clicked on Kodak. With a savoring flourish, I selected Delete. Blink! Gone! Nothing, but a white hole stood where Kodak had been. Damn, I need another virtual cigarette. That was good. I might reinstall so I can do it again.

Very good, indeed. :… exhales …: Sometimes it just feels right to fuck when you’re mad.

I feel pretty today!  I went grocery shopping this afternoon and decided to look for some false eyelashes while I was out.  I’d been doing some reading about them and they seemed like just what I needed.  About 10 or 12 years or so ago (has it really been that freakin’ long?), I started having problems with the corneas of my eyes ripping while I sleep.  It doesn’t happen every night and doesn’t happen as often as it used to, but it happens often enough that I use drops at night in an effort to try to avoid any dryness that may trigger it.

This means dried goop from my gel eyedrops is always working it’s way out of my eyelashes.  I wash my eyes and lashes when I get up, but it seems impossible to get it all out, so I’m always lightly rubbing my eyelashes whenever I feel or see anything bugging me.  This means I also rub mascara out and then cuss myself all day.  Additionally, mascara always seems to take lashes with it when it’s removed and that bothers me.  So when I read about false eyelashes, they seemed perfect for me.  They’d be cleaner and perhaps I wouldn’t feel the inclination to rub them.  I wouldn’t be putting chemicals on my eyelashes and I wouldn’t be losing any eyelashes either.  The only question was they made false eyelashes that were natural looking so I could avoid looking like Tammy Faye Baker.

Well, they do make natural looking false eyelashes and they’re wonderful to wear.  Plus, I think they’re much more flattering than mascara.  I look younger around my eyes just wearing them and so far, I haven’t even worn them with makeup!

I also, picked up some new banana clips for my hair and these are much nicer and more modern than the ones I had left over from the 90’s.  My hair is finally long enough to look great in a banana clip, so I’m very jazzed, and that’s Reason To Feel Pretty #2.

I got some eyebrow templates, angled tweezers, and some cool eyebrow color and my eyebrows look BOMB!  I’ve never really played with my eyebrows, but I’m really enjoying making them much more manicured now.  I tried getting them waxed semi-regularly, but I keep getting scars every time I’m waxed.  I don’t know if those darling asian ladies are bad at it or whether the skin around my eyes is just too delicate for that kind of hot wax craziness.  I’ve never used any kind of wax before, but after being waxed 3 times, and having a scar from each time - I just can’t consent to doing it again.  I’m actually okay with beauty hurting a little, but scarring crosses the line.  And that’s a wrap on Reason To Feel Pretty #3.

And… I got some great clear lip gloss that’s sparkly in just the right way to make my face look bright and happy.  That sums up Reason To Feel Pretty #4.  All these reasons add up.  I feel thinner, about 10 years younger, and prettier.  Awesome!

So this banner day started out like any other, but it evolved into a day that left me feeling better than I have in a long while.  It really is the little things in life that go so far in making a person feel great.  If it takes so little, why don’t we find small things like this more often?

THIS IS A REPOST - JUST REPLACING THE POST ITSELF.  THE COMMENTS ARE LOST, BUT FEEL FREE TO POST THEM AGAIN!  I REMEMBER YOUR SUPER HERO REQUESTS, THOUGH.

Calling All Closet Super (S)Heroes

So much of my work on this beautiful blog site GONE!  All because of a stupid mistake.  I shouldn’t have been working on it and having “bright ideas” while I was so tired.  I’d spent the day immersed in databases and PHP code trying to figure out a problem with one of my forums (that hardly anyone goes to anyway, but I had some important posts there) and then I blew it by deciding to get a little more work done on my blogs.

I was deciding that I needed to niche because 95 out of the 100 most popular blog sites do.  I need to build traffic at my blogs because it’s one of the most important ways for reaching my target market on the web.  I put a blog at wholyone.com since that’s where my main product is and decided that would be the serious blog and I’d keep this one personal and for fun stuff so I don’t go crazy (I can’t be just serious all the time).

I had the bright idea that I could install a blog on the wholyone domain and then just copy the files over from this blog and one copy would live here and the other there, and then I’d just prune what I didn’t want.  I did it and it worked beautifully until I realized it was working a little too beautifully and the changes I’d made at wholyone where also enacted at this blog.  So the stuff I deleted there, thinking it was still here?  Gone!

Then I tried to fix it and it made things worse!  Ultimately I had to delete both blogs and start over because I’m not smart enough yet to know how to fix a mistake like that.  I’m sure I could have gone more into the code and simply fixed it that way, but I didn’t know how.  The only thing I knew how to do to fix it and get back to running again asap was to delete both and start again.  Yes, I’m feeling incredibly stupid and marveling at the waste I created.  In trying to save time, I created an enormous repair burden for myself.

But at least it happened at a time when most of what I’d done here is still fresh in my mind and there’s only a couple of things where I’ll have to refresh my memory to figure out how I set it up.

I’m probably way geekier than most people reading this, to have done a site like this at all and tweaked it like I have takes at least a little geek knowledge and application, but it’s a drop in the bucket.  I know only enough to be able to stumble around the site and sift through pages and pages of code to find what I think might be what I need, only to change it and go oops, not that and try again.  I ignore warnings like, “It’s dangerous to alter the code of an active plugin” because the worst that could happen it I break it and it deactivates and then I’d just reinstall it and try again.  That falls under acceptable risk.

I’m like the Frankenstein of the Web except what I’m doing has all been done before - this is just *my* turn figuring it out.  I didn’t even realize I was risking the majority of the blog and all my posts because I don’t know enough about what I’m doing to know the risk of what I did.  You know what they say… fools rush in.  The only comfort I can get out of this is that I’m smart enough to put it back together from here at least and two more things… when I screw up like this it illustrates clearly the fact that I’m not afraid to try and it illustrates too that when I fall on my ass, I get up and dust myself off so I can try again.

I have the Super Hero blog copied at MySpace, I think, and I can repost it here, but I won’t have your fun comments anymore.  I’m sorry.  I didn’t delete any of this on purpose.